Mi Hermana, Mi Hermano, Mi Amor
by Kioasakka
Summary: After years of internal anguish, Alex and Justin are finally together. Love is hard, but it's even harder to be with someone you are absolutely forbidden to be with. Heavy Jalex. MaxOC
1. Chapter One

A/N: I wrote a lot of this story months before now. In fact, I haven't touched it since January. But the Wizards Movie I just watched finally inspired me to post it online. I was actually really surprised who won the Wizarding Contest. I was evenly split between the two. (And I will admit that when it was over, before the tornado came, and Justin was standing there with mud on his face and his hair all messy… uggh. He was sooo sexy. LOL.) Anyway, I'm going to use the original writings, and not edit it based on the movie. I hope you enjoy it regardless.

Your reviews, whether positive or hateful, are welcome here.

—

Chapter One

—

When Alex saw Justin walk through the door, her heart sank. It was really time, wasn't it?

It made her sick to see him with such confidence. She knew he was going to win. Max knew he was going to win. Neither of them would admit it to save their soul, but everybody knew that Justin was going to win and keep his powers.

He brushed the snow off his coat and hugged his parents. He spotted Alex on the couch and smiled smugly. "Hey, little sister, ready to lose your powers?" he taunted.

"Oh, please," she scoffed, feigning assertion; "you couldn't win even if you cheated. Which is probably how you got into _Stanford_ anyway."

He scowled, but didn't retort. He almost felt bad about knowing he would take Alex's and Max's powers. Frustrated, and actually a little upset, Alex fled the house, mumbling something or other about meeting somebody.

She was now nineteen, making Justin twenty and Max seventeen. Seeing his little sister again, after not seeing her for almost a year—he didn't come home at all after last Christmas, spent summer in Europe for a 'study abroad' program on a scholarship, then went right back to school—reminded him of exactly why he hadn't been home in such a long time. The only reason he was even here at all was because of the competition, and he intended to leave again as soon as he could.

_I thought if I stayed away long enough, these feelings would go away,_ he thought irritably. It was easier to live normally when he was away from Alex. He'd been in love with her for as long as he could remember.

He was glad that she left to go hang with whoever. He didn't want to have to look at her. She'd changed so much in the time he'd been gone. He didn't want to have to look at the beautiful woman she had grown into, with her chocolate curls, her stunning figure, her pouty come-hither lips, her enticing dark brown eyes…

_Stop now, _he thought angrily. All the old feelings he had struggled to smother were resurfacing like a violent storm. He occupied himself with telling the remaining Russo family members of college life and what he'd been up to while he was away.

"You got a girlfriend?" Max asked at one point, winking.

The question sickened him, particularly because he had to answer yes. "Her name is Makenzie Taylor," he answered, trying to keep the vemon out of his voice. He pulled his wallet out and removed from it a picture that he showed his family, a picture of him standing next to a tall woman with white-blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She really was pretty.

"Whoa, how did _you _get such a catch, of all people?"

He punched Max in the arm. Yeah, Kenzie was attractive, so sweet, smart, and indeed, quite a catch. But, of course, the only person in the world worth chasing after was indefinitely and absolutely forbidden to him.

"She's so pretty," Theresa cooed. "You should bring her home sometime."

That, he could never do. "So, when's the competition start?" he asked, changing the subject and taking back the picture.

"Tomorrow morning," Jerry replied. "You three all know the rules and the way it's going to work. So I would please ask you guys go to bed early and rest up for it."

Max complained, but Justin said nothing and left to go take his things to his old bedroom. He stayed in there until Max came pounding on his door telling him dinner was ready. Reluctantly, and not wanting to see Alex in the slightest, he made his way down.

But she wasn't there.

"Where's Alex?" he asked, sitting down at the table.

"Off with her boyfriend somewhere," his father grumbled. "I wish she'd at least call and tell us when she'd be home."

"She's nineteen, Jerry," Theresa chided. "She's an adult; she can do what she wants."

"Not while she's still living under my roof." But he said nothing else about it.

Justin was torn inside. Yeah, okay, how could he expect to come home and Alex be single? Did he honestly hope that she would be forever unable to date anyone because of an intense, painful love for her brother?

What kind of hypocrite was he, exactly? Didn't he just show the entire family his girlfriend of almost eight months? Even if Alex did feel the way he did—which he knew was impossible—why would he be allowed to date someone, while she was painfully waiting for a love that would never happen? Was he the only one in this situation allowed to distract himself, channel his depression into a normal outlet? The only one who could hug, kiss, touch, feel, love?

He couldn't touch Alex in any of the ways that he touched Kenzie, though he wanted nothing more. He loved Kenzie, but he would never and could never be so truly in love with her, the way he was with Alex. He could sleep with Kenzie, could marry Kenzie. Not Alex. Never Alex.

Why his_ sister_?

All that he'd ever wanted was to have Alex fall asleep in his arms, to brush her beautiful hair out of her face, to hold her tight as she cried on his shoulder when she was sad… was that so much to ask for? He could do all that if he wanted, if they had that good of a relationship. Brothers and sisters who were actually nice to each other could do that stuff. Because it didn't mean anything. But Justin wanted to touch her as a lover… not a brother.

He shoved the sick, incestuous thoughts into the back of his head. What kind of crazy mental disorder did he have? Even though he knew of several spells that could help him fall out of love with her, because loving her tortured him more than anything—he didn't use them. He wanted to love her forever. How very masochistic.

—

Alex didn't get home until four in the morning. Theresa had gone to bed at eleven, not bothering to wait up for her daughter. At one, Justin practically forced Jerry, who was falling asleep, to go to bed. He reassured him that he would stay up and wait. And he did. He sat on the couch and watched TV, trying not to think, while waiting for Alex to get home.

When she did, she only half-tried to be quiet. She turned on the light and walked into the kitchen and stuck her head in the fridge.

Justin wanted to sneak up behind her and brush his fingers against her waist, and snake his arms around her, but he didn't. Instead, he stood up, faced her, and didn't move. She closed the fridge with a Coke in her hand and turned around, gasping in terror when she saw Justin. She dropped the can and it nearly hit the floor before Justin silently ordered it back into her hand.

"Oh, my god," said Alex, putting her free hand to her heavily breathing chest. "You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same question," he told her, walking towards her, carefully. "I told Dad I'd stay up and wait for you so he could get some sleep."

"For the love of— I'm nineteen years old!"

"I know," he murmured. "I'm going to tell Dad you came home ten minutes after he went to bed at about one."

She blinked, confused, then said, "Um, wow. Thanks, Justin."

"But first I wanna know what you were doing."

She rolled her eyes. Of course. Justin _always _wanted something in exchange for anything that would benefit her. She walked over to the couch and plopped on it beside him. She opened the Coke and began to drink it, ignoring the fire that exploded in her skin where her arm touched his.

"I was out with some friends," she said after her sip. "That's all."

"Dad said you were with your _boyfriend,_" he sneered, venom involuntarily pouring into his words. "What the hell do you do with a boy till four in the morning, Alex?"

"What do you_ think,_ you idiot?" she hissed. "You're probably still a virgin, though. And single and lonely."

"Nuh-uh, I have a girlfriend, and we've—" He froze. Then, quietly, he asked, "You're… you're not a virgin anymore?"

She shook her head, and he felt so many weird emotions flaring up inside him. "I lost my virginity like, four years ago. When I was fifteen. That Riley guy."

Oh. He wanted to suddenly tear apart Riley for defiling his sweet little sister. How dare someone else take her virginity, and at fifteen?

_That should've belonged to me!_

Justin was so upset that he didn't even bother to hate himself more for thinking that. He got up and stormed away from her and up into his old room, locking the door and falling onto his bed. He fell asleep instantly, tears on his cheeks.

Alex was angry, but also sad. What did Justin care? She looked at her Coke can, the letters of which were becoming fuzzy and blurred. Justin didn't care what happened to her. He was just her stuck-up older brother. He had better things to do than worry about his stupid little sister. She blinked and tears spilled over onto her lap and soda can.

She was a good actress. And being attracted to other guys helped. No, she would never love any of them. Not a single one. But she could pretend. She'd been with her current boyfriend, Christian, for a few months now. She kissed him and slept with him to fill the void. She pretended he was Justin.

She bit her lip fiercely, trying hard to stop crying. She put her soda on the coffee table and bit on her hand, her whole body trembling with violent tears. Damn it, Justin. Why couldn't he have stayed away? It was easier to pretend he wasn't real when he wasn't here. It was easier to live. It was so unfair. She could have any guy she wanted, except the only one she desired. Hard to get, huh? Would, if she had him, become repulsed by him? Did she only love him because she could never have him?

No, that wasn't true. She'd loved him all her life; he'd been her first crush, her first love.

It was too much to hold in. Once an involuntary whimper escaped her throat, she couldn't stop. She had to put her head into a pillow to muffle her cries, screams, and moans of pain as she sobbed heavily. She felt her heart shatter and her stomach explode and the pain wash throughout every fiber of her body, until she was finally numb. Letting this numbness spread, she took a deep, shaky breath, and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter Two

A/N: When I wrote this, I purposefully did not write the Wizard Competition scene. Why? Because I didn't know how the competition was supposed to go. Now that I do know, I certainly could edit this if I wanted, but that's the thing: I don't. Please enjoy anyway.

—

Chapter Two

—

It was over. It had been over before it started. Max and Alex were locked away in their rooms, sulking about their loss. It was too much to have to listen to Justin gloat… neither could handle it.

Luckily, Justin, for once, spared their feelings, particularly Alex's. He actually felt really terrible. He wished he'd lost the competition. _Alex should have won… she deserves it…_

Instead of celebrating, he sulked around Manhattan for awhile, before transporting himself to Europe. He wasn't sure why he sent himself there, but he ended up in a bar in Scotland. Justin didn't drink. He had gotten drunk only once, and it had left him half naked with his head in a garbage can puking his guts up. But somehow, now, the temptation was too great. All he could think about was Alex.

_F__uck… why can't I just be a normal person? Normal people don't fall in love with their siblings._ Just the thought made him want to hit something. He ordered a beer.

Several drinks later, the room was fuzzy and spinning. He leaned to the side and fell off his stool. Was that laughter he was hearing?

His inhibitions were forgotten. So what if Alex was his sister? She was all he ever wanted in a woman. Confident, clever, strong… Oh, God, she was so beautiful… He let the thoughts drift pleasantly across his mind. For once, he didn't push away the images that involuntarily came to mind, the thoughts that had haunted him for as long as he could remember.

When they were little, it wasn't too big of a deal. Justin and Alex had been very close as kids. He couldn't pinpoint when exactly he began to fall for her. The "thoughts" were innocent. Holding hands, getting married, living happily ever after, and all that jazz. Being with each other forever.

He remembered the time, when he was four and Alex was three, and Max was barely one, they went to the park and Justin made a circlet of flowers with his magic. He'd put it on Alex's head and when their parents had commented on what a pretty princess she was, he'd vehemently told them she was a bride, not a princess. He'd then announced that he intended to marry her when they grew up. Jerry and Theresa had smiled and laughed. Wasn't their son so adorable?

However, as they grew older, Justin came to understand that these feelings were not supposed to exist. By the time he was ten, their close friendship was nearly gone, and their relationship consisted only of fights, taunts, and pranks. So terrified that he'd be found out and sent far away, he did his best to be as mean as possible to her. She quickly became far more devious than he. It was like World War III in the Russo household.

And when, oh, yes, when Justin hit puberty… all of a sudden, his thoughts weren't quite so pure anymore. The self-loathing he'd wrapped himself in was felt by everyone in the family. He'd absorbed himself in his schoolwork and everything, _anything_ that could make him forget about these evil thoughts and feelings he had toward his sister. He'd even prayed; not that it helped, considering he didn't even believe in God, but he'd been so desperate.

The reminiscing made Justin, who had been helped back onto his stool, smile crookedly into his empty glass. For the first time, he let those impure and disgusting thoughts enter his mind freely. He reveled in them. He could feel himself getting more and more turned on, till it was nearly unbearable.

The brunette woman beside him caught his attention. Her hair fell in gentle curls around her shoulders and her eyes were a familiar, friendly brown. She could be Alex… he could pretend…

Even though he was thrown out into the street by two big guys for harassing her, he didn't stop. His tongue slurred over his words as he murmured a spell that he knew would make that brunette want him, if only for the night. She took him back to her place.

—

Alex woke in the arms and bed of her boyfriend, Christian. After finally coming out of her room, she'd fled the house to visit him. He'd known she was upset, but he didn't know what about, and he knew better than to ask her.

There were times when Christian was just so impossibly sweet. He was incredibly handsome, and had a body that could make any girl swoon. On top of his good looks, he was a gentleman and very intelligent. Many girls were jealous of Alex because of him. Were she anyone else, she could give herself to him entirely and be the happiest girl in the world. He loved her so much, and told her this frequently. He was absolutely perfect and wonderful in every way…

But he wasn't Justin.

In the end, that was what it always came down to.

Why couldn't she just forget about Justin and move on? Here beside her was a beautiful man who loved her dearly and would never hurt her. Here she was in the arms of someone who was truly wonderful. And though she loved him, there was still a part of her that could not give in. There was a part of her that refused to be given to him, no matter how badly she wanted to. That part of her heart always had belonged to Justin.

_He's my brother._

These were the words that caused Alex the pain she had to endure. If Justin weren't her brother, she could be with him. But had she fallen in love with him _because _he was her brother? Because they had that special bond, that connection found only between siblings, blood relatives, and had grown up together? Justin had been a part of her life since before she was born. Before_ he_ was born.

The faceless person beside her stirred. He groaned sleep away quietly and opened his eyes. They were blue, and very lovely. But they didn't hold a candle to Justin's gentle green.

"Hey baby," Christian murmured, kissing her lightly on the shoulder. "Sleep okay?"

"More or less, yeah." She turned around to face him and pressed her hand against his bare chest, feeling his warmth.

He put his own hand over hers. "Do you feel better?" he asked gently. "Or is it still bothering you?"

She sighed and buried her face into him. "I feel better, I guess… but yeah, it's still bothering me." _It will always bother me._

She had cried last night when they made love. It had taken quite a good deal of convincing on Alex's part to get him to do so in the first place—("No, Alex, not tonight… you need ice cream and a sad movie, not that… You're obviously not in the mood. Look, I have chocolate ice cream in the fridge, you can eat it from the carton like you like… and I've got _The Notebook_ and_ Nights in Rodanthe_…" "No, Christian, please… this is what I want…")—and crying the whole way through hadn't really helped keep him convinced.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

She shook her head. "Not really."

"Okay, well, if you ever change your mind, I'm here for you."

She looked up into his eyes. The love she saw in them broke her heart. Why couldn't she fall one hundred percent in love with him? Why did her love have to fall short? _Why?_

Justin's face drifted easily into her mind. When Christian kissed her gently, her mind pretended it was Justin. Her lips trembled against the ones pressed against hers. Whose lips were she kissing? The plea came without warning: _Oh, God, please, let them be Justin's!_

And because they weren't, and because they would never be, she began to cry again.

—

The girl's name was Ginger, but Justin called her Alex regardless. She was shaped, physically, almost nothing like his sister, and were he not completely out of his proper state of mind, he would know that her face was nothing like Alex's either. But her hair, and those eyes, were all it took for him to believe, if only for a few moments, that this was Alex he was with.

"Oh, Alex… I love you so much…"

"My name isn't Alex."

_"Alex…"_

He was out wandering the streets of Manhattan again. He'd slept part of the night by a dumpster in an alley, and had the worst hangover.

_Why?_ he wondered, pushing open the door of a diner. He trudged over to the bathroom and collapsed in a stall. _Why did I sleep with that girl?_

As his head spun and he vomited into the toilet bowl, he remembered that he hadn't used protection.

—

The smell of bacon and pancakes roused Max from his slumber. He groaned loudly and sat up on the couch, holding his face. He had the worst headache.

"Max, want somethin'? I'm making breakfast."

He was at his best friend Tyler's house. Yesterday, Max had felt so crappy for losing the competition that he didn't come out of his room nearly the whole day. He didn't respond to any of his texts or calls, but when his phone had buzzed at quarter to seven and he'd read WHATS UP? from Tyler, he'd explained the situation and had been ordered to immediately come over. Tyler was a wizard who hadn't gone through the competition yet, and wouldn't for a long time; his little brother was only three.

"Sure, food sounds good. You got any Aspirin or something? I've got a killer headache."

"Yeah, let me get you some."

Tyler was a few inches shorter than Max's six-one, was freakishly skinny, and always straightened his blond hair. He was Max's closest friend, even though he was gay. It had never bothered Max.

"I really wish I'd won," he confessed to his friend.

"I bet. I'm really sorry, man." He put the bottle of pills and a glass of water on the coffee table. Max had crashed on the living room sofa, and Tyler had slept in a chair to keep him company.

Tyler returned to the kitchen while Max popped three Aspirin pills in his mouth and swallowed them with the water. It wasn't just losing his powers that was bothering him. He wasn't as stupid as he used to be. He wasn't as stupid as everybody thought he was. He knew something was up at home. From the moment Justin had returned, something had… changed. It was as if a forced normalcy had been pressed down on top of them.

He knew for a fact that Alex and Justin had missed each other. He could tell by the way she stopped and sighed when she passed by Justin's room. By the way Justin didn't email Alex, and how he didn't ask about her in any of the ones Max received. Before Justin had gone off to college, everything had been okay. Everything had been as it always was. Max knew that, despite their bickering and insistence on the contrary, his older siblings were very close to each other. Sometimes so close, Max would feel forgotten.

The fact that both his sister and his brother were very decidedly against any communication between the two of them made Max feel like something bigger was going on that he didn't understand.

Alex and Justin were the dynamic duo of the family, and had always been on-and-off best friends. Max, well… he was easily put into the background. He hesitated, and then, on a whim, dumped a handful of Aspirin into his cupped palm.


	3. Chapter Three

—

Chapter Three

—

It was just bad luck that the three siblings should return home within the same half hour. Alex was the first. She'd left Christian's house a bit reluctantly, but also a bit willingly as well. She just wanted to be alone. He'd understood, of course.

Unfortunately, she would not be alone. Very shortly after her arrival, as she was at the kitchen counter forcing herself to eat the bagel in her hand, the terror of her life walked through the door. She froze like a statue when she saw him.

He seemed unaware of her presence. He groaned loudly and stumbled over to the couch, collapsing on it. Alex frowned. Was he okay? She thought briefly about their rather conveniently absent parents; Theresa was out getting groceries and Jerry was busy in the shop downstairs. _Did Dad see Justin come up?_ wondered Alex, who, finding herself very much unfrozen, put the bagel on the counter and moved carefully towards her fallen brother.

What a sorry sight. Alex had never seen him like this. He was dirty and disheveled, and he looked absolutely terrible. What killed her were the tears escaping the eyes he was fighting to keep closed, and the little whimpers escaping his lips. She kneeled beside him.

"Justin?" she asked quietly.

"All my fault," he sputtered, trembling under the non-existent weight that was pressing down on his skull. He shouldn't have gotten drunk. His headache made him want to die. "All my fault…"

"What's your fault? Justin? Talk to me…"

"God… I'm so stupid…"

Taking a bold risk, Alex put her hand on his face and stroked his cheek gently with her thumb. Her hand tingled from the feel of his skin. "You're not stupid," she whispered. "You're the smartest person I know."

He wasn't really aware that it was Alex that was with him, he was so sick—sick from the hangover, and sick from the knowledge of what he'd done. He couldn't make any sense of what she was saying. He knew, to some extent, that there was someone familiar, someone beautiful, speaking to him in a soothing voice and touching his face lovingly.

"I shouldn't have… I shouldn't have done what I did…"

Alex was fraught with worry. "What did you do, Justin? What's wrong?"

"I'm so stupid…"

—

Kicking a pebble along the sidewalk as he headed home, Max sighed heavily at the dismay of returning. He hoped he would be home alone, and that he could just sleep for a few hours (_or days, _he thought tiredly) without being disturbed. He managed to sneak into the sub shop past his father and head up the stairs undetected, and he was so relieved when he got to the front door. Maybe he really would be home alone.

He walked in on Alex sitting on the couch with Justin's head in her lap. He was crying, and she was completely absorbed in gently caressing his face and murmuring softly to him. It was a strange and almost otherworldly interaction between the two, and Max felt very much like he was intruding on something private and intimate. _What does that mean?_ he wondered. _It's just Alex and Justin. _Still, he was uncomfortable, and snuck back out the front door, closing it quietly. He leaned against it and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had a headache.

_What the fuck was that?_ he asked himself. It seemed unreal, like he'd been watching a T.V. show. Had he been hallucinating? Yeah, okay, so Justin was clearly upset about something and Alex was comforting him. Big deal. That's what siblings are for: to be there for each other when no one else was. He swallowed his sudden wave of envy, which collected itself as a lump in his throat. What he had walked in on was an extraordinary show of love, and it made him both uncomfortable and jealous. If he were the one crying on the couch, there was no doubt in Max's mind that Alex would not lay his head in her lap and try to calm him down.

He turned and pressed his face against the door, shaking. They hadn't even noticed him coming in. No one ever noticed him anymore. All that nonsense about the youngest being the most spoiled was complete bullshit. Max had never been spoiled in his life…

He made a resolution to walk back in, loudly, and break up whatever the hell that was going on in the living room. With a deep breath, he turned the knob and threw open the door. It slammed against the wall and he saw Alex jump in surprise. She turned her head.

"Max!" she cried. "You scared the crap out of me."

"Sorry, Sis," he said, closing the door. "Where's Justin?"

"He's here. Something's really wrong." Max was astonished to hear the fear in his sister's voice. "I think he's sick."

"I'm _fine,_" Justin declared, but his voice shook. He groaned loudly as he pulled himself off Alex's lap and sat up, leaning back against the couch. "Just need a… minute."

Max walked over and frowned at his brother from across the coffee table. "Dude, you look like shit," he said frankly.

"Thanks, Max," was the sarcastic reply. "You're a real pal."

"No, seriously. What's up? You look like you spent the night in a dumpster." He sniffed contemptuously. "Smell like you did, too."

Justin laughed once. "Close," he replied. "I wasn't actually _in_ the dumpster. Just next to it."

Alex scowled. "What were you doing sleeping by a dumpster?" she demanded.

Max folded his arms over his chest and raised his chin. "Yeah, I think I'd like to hear that story, too."

With an over-exaggerated eye roll and a groan, Justin pulled his head off the back of the couch and sat hunched forward with his arms on his legs. "I got drunk," he stated flatly. "Really, really, really drunk. That's it. Okay? So I'm not exactly feeling so great right now."

"Drunk?" Max raised an eyebrow. "Why were you drunk?"

"Gee, I dunno, Max, maybe he was out celebrating," said Alex callously, masking her concern for Justin with anger. "I mean, no offense or anything, but if _I'd_ won the wizarding competition and stolen both of my brothers' powers, I know_ I'd_ want to go celebrate by partying all night with my friends and some champagne."

Justin looked at her furiously. "Hey," he snapped, "it's not my fault you two sucked at magic. Maybe if you'd ever studied or worked for it, you could've won instead."

"Low, Justin," Max drawled, wondering why he'd bothered to leave Tyler's. "Really low."

"You know what, Max?" He jabbed a finger towards him. "Nobody asked you. Nobody even cares what you think. So fuck you."

"Okay, I don't care _how _shitty you feel," said Alex, standing and glaring at Justin, "but you do _not_ talk to Max like that."

Max shook his head. "Don't even worry 'bout me, Sis. I'm fine. I don't know what's gotten into him, but this isn't the brother we saw_ last Christmas._"

"People change," Justin grumbled.

"Change?" Max repeated, his eyes burning. "You barely changed at all during high school. And so, what, you leave for a year or two, and decide you're better than the rest of us because you got into Stanford and have a hot girlfriend and magic powers?"

Alex's jaw dropped, eyes wide. Justin had a girlfriend? A hot girlfriend? Since when? Suddenly, she didn't want to be there anymore. She slinked backwards and disappeared up the stairs, seemingly unnoticed.

"You don't drink," Max went on, "ever. You just don't. And you don't swear, either. And you haven't been home in a year. So come on, man, tell me. What the hell is up with you?"

Justin only laughed, shaking his head. Max was such an idiot. Like he would really give an honest answer, when the truth was so shameful. Normally, he wasn't this cruel, ever. By nature, Justin was a gentle creature. And maybe it was the headache and the queasiness, or all the stress, or just plain exhaustion, or all three that was making him this way. He knew that, above all things, Max hated to be treated like a child, and so he said, "I wouldn't expect you to understand. You're just a kid, really." Already Max was heating up with new rage. "Maybe someday, when you're a little older, I'll explain it to you."

The younger brother was so irate, he didn't even hear the door open as he pointed at Justin and hissed, "Go fuck yourself."

_"MAX!"_

He turned at his mother's cry and his face fell. Both of his parents were standing in the doorway, in complete shock at what they'd heard.

"Max," said Jerry, his voice tight, "you're grounded. Go to your room before I lose my temper."

Max stood for a moment in disbelief, and thought for a second about arguing. But he knew it'd be of no use, and so, utterly defeated, he shot Justin one final glare before he slowly stormed his way up the stairs.

Theresa looked faint. _"Ay, dios mío,"_ she breathed as she slumped into a chair. "Where did that boy learn that language?"

"And where were _you _last night?" Jerry demanded of Justin, who suddenly wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed and sleep for the next two years.

"Out," he replied boredly. "Sorry I didn't call."

"And where's your sister? Did she come home yet?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. She was home when I got here. Probably in her room or something." Jerry wasted no time; he was thundering up the stairs, yelling for Alex. Justin leaned his head back against the couch. It bothered him that he'd been so absorbed in what Max had had to say, he didn't notice Alex leave the room.

"Honey, are you all right?"

His mother broke him from his sluggish thoughts. "What?"

"Are you all right?" she repeated, moving to the couch and putting a hand on his forehead. "You look so sick. Oh, my poor babies…"

He pulled away from her and stood up, ignoring the wave of nausea that hit him._ I will never drink again, _he told himself. "I'm fine, Mom. Really. I just need to get to bed." He walked over to the stairs.

"Oh, all right, but if you need anything at all, just let me know!"

"Yeah, thanks."

—

In her room, Alex had been laying on her bed, in the dark, wondering about Justin's girlfriend. Were they serious? It's not like he'd never had a serious girlfriend before. Juliet, for example. But this was different—this was an _adult_ relationship. Were they walking-down-the-aisle serious? The idea made Alex queasy.

_But of course,_ she told herself. _He'll get married someday. He has to. And I will, too. I have to. To stay sane._

Maybe she'd marry Christian. He'd certainly be the perfect husband. He'd never cheat on her or treat her wrong. And any kids they had would be blessed with a wonderful father. Maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to give up Justin completely—or, if she couldn't, maybe she'd find a way to push that aside and truly fall in love with Christian.

_After all, it's not like Justin and I will ever get married, _she reminded herself dejectedly. _Even if he did love me that way, he'd probably be too stupid to get in a relationship with me. He'd say it'd be like, impractical or something. Better if we moved on. But he's an idiot if he thinks I'd move on from that._

Her thoughts were broken by the sound of her father yelling her name angrily down the hall. She sat up just as her door flew open. "ALEX—" He stopped, probably wondering if she was actually in here. He found the light switch and turned it on. Their eyes adjusted, and then he turned his head and saw her, and marched over. "Alex Russo! Where in the hell were you last night?"

"I went to Harper's," she lied. "I didn't realize that I still needed to tell my mommy and daddy where I'm going."

"You know the deal, Alex," said Jerry sharply. "It was _your_ choice to drop out of community college and come back home. And we told you that there would be consequences. You want to live at home and not go to school, you have to follow house rules. And that means, we get to know where you are at all times."

"This is just so stupid," she snapped. "I'm nineteen years old and you're still treating me like a kid!"

"Because you still haven't learned_ responsibility!_ You want to be treated like an adult? Move out, get a job, pay taxes, and live just like adults do."

"Daddy,_ please._ It's Christmastime. Can't we just, like, break off all the rules, kinda, let Alex go hang out with friends and stuff when she wants… You let Justin go wherever and whenever _he _wants."

"Because Justin is a mature, responsible adult. He's pulling a three-nine GPA at Stanford University on the other side of the country, he's always been responsible, _and,_ he won the Wizarding Tournament!"

"Dad! Could we_ please_ not talk about the stupid Wizarding Tournament!" She slammed her hands on her bed in frustration.

He sighed. "Fine. I guess you're probably upset about it… I understand."

"No, you don't," she grumbled. "You won."

"Yeah, but I ended up having to give up my powers," he reasoned.

"To marry Mom, and have one brilliant, perfect child and two duds you regret having."_ One of which is disgustingly in love with her brother, _she added bitterly to herself. She looked down.

"Alex, your mother and I do _not_ regret having you or Max. And I sure hope you never say something like that to your mother. It'd kill her." Without another word, he closed the door behind him and was gone.

Alex moved slowly toward the door and turned off the lights before returning to her bed. She crawled under the covers and sank into her mattress, letting a silent tear slide down her cheek.

—

Though he was grounded, Max hadn't had his phone physically taken away yet, and so he texted Tyler. He was sitting on his bed waiting for a response when Jerry came in. Annoyed, Max said, "Hold on, let me just turn it off," before doing so and holding the phone out. "Here, take it."

But Jerry didn't take it. Instead, he came over and sat on his son's bed. "Don't tell your mother," he said, "but I'm ungrounding you."

Max looked at his father emotionlessly, and then shrugged, turning the phone back on and dropping it into his lap. It buzzed, and he flipped it open. "Whatever."

"It's Christmastime, and so I'm going to let you off the hook as an early present."

"Whoopee," said the boy unenthusiastically, his thumbs typing out a response.

Jerry frowned. "Max. You can't be saying that kind of stuff to your brother."

"You weren't there for the whole fight," Max told him boredly, "so Justin looked like this helpless little thing and I looked like a total dick."

"Max…"

"Whatever, Dad. Seriously. Just forget about it."

They were silent for a minute, then Jerry stood up. "Well, all right, then," he said, and left.

Max opened another text and began to respond, shaking his head slowly. _Thanks, Dad, for being so concerned about me, _he thought sarcastically, sending his text and reaching under his bed for a small Ziploc baggy. It was full of pain medication he'd stolen from Tyler's house before coming home. He opened the bag and popped a few in his mouth, swallowing them dry, and sat back, waiting for the numbness.


	4. Chapter Four

—

Chapter Four

—

Days passed. Theresa had convinced Justin to stay through the rest of his school vacation. "At least stay for Christmas," she'd insisted. "You _have_ to stay for Christmas." So he'd promised to stay, even though every day was harder than the last to get through, to see that face and hear that voice that had haunted him for as long as he could remember—

"Justin."

Reflexively, he clicked out of what he'd been looking at: family photos, mostly of Alex, naturally. He looked up, tearing his eyes from his computer screen and locking them with those deep, chocolate orbs.

"Why are you in my room?" he questioned, hoping she hadn't seen anything. He hadn't heard her come in. He noticed that his door was closed.

She looked at him steadily, her eyes piercing into his, and asked, "What happened that night?"

He frowned and looked away, pretending to busy himself on his computer. "What night?"

Scowling, she pushed down the top of his laptop. "You know what night, Justin. Now tell me."

He glared at her, then sighed loudly. "Is that really any of your business?"

"Yes, goddamn it, it is." Their eyes met, glowering. "You were crying in my arms about something you said was all your fault. And then you went all Mr. Hyde on me and Max. So _what happened?_"

He couldn't take it anymore—the directness of their eye contact. Though neither his nor her eyes were filled with any sort of warmth, there was an intimacy behind it that made him uncomfortable. He had to look away.

Quietly, barely audible, he whispered, "I want to tell you… but I just can't."

There was a long, agonizing silence, before Alex sat on his desk and asked softly, "Why? Why can't you tell me?"

He paused, before answering, "It's… complicated."

He expected her to scoff, but she didn't. Instead she just said, "I really think I can handle it. Please tell me?"

At the word 'please,' he looked up at her, startled. It was so out of character for Alex to ask please for anything. She demanded, never requested.

With another small sigh, he decided that telling the edited version of the story would suffice. _And hopefully satiate her curiosity enough to never ask me again,_ he hoped. And so he said, "Well… okay, but... you can't tell anyone."

"I won't," she promised, and somehow, by the way she said it and by the shocking sincerity in her eyes, he knew she was telling the truth.

He fiddled with his hands for a moment, and stared at them. It'd be easier to talk if he pretended she weren't actually there listening.

"To be honest? I was actually not out celebrating my victory at the competition."

Alex nodded, but he didn't see it. "Yeah. I kinda figured that."

"Well, anyway, I was really feeling rotten. I mean, it was not easy for me to watch you and Max lose your powers. You both looked like you'd lost a part of yourselves you'd never get back."

She sighed. "Justin, that's… true," she admitted, "but really, it's just magic. We don't need it to breathe. I mean, it's great, and all—really, _really_ great—but over ninety percent of the world's population doesn't even know it exists. If they can do it, you know, live without magic, why can't Max and I can do it, too?"

He turned his head slightly in her direction, but didn't look at her. That was actually a really surprising thing for her to say. It made him feel even worse. Here before him stood Alex, ready and prepared to take on the world and the rest of her life without any sort of magical powers, and here he sat, knowing that he would be too cowardly to do the same. He returned his gaze to his hands.

"Anyway, I just felt terrible, so… Something came over me, and I decided to take a joyride to Scotland, I guess. And I went into this bar and sat down and thought, Hey, maybe a little alcohol can help lessen the crappiness—if only for the moment."

She looked at him mournfully, and her hand ached with the desire to hold and caress his face, and show him that she cared. That she worried about him. A lot.

"One drink turned into two which turned into something like five… I lost count."

_Drinking is not the answer, _she wanted to say. _It's never the answer…_ But she held her tongue. She knew he already knew that.

"And there was this… woman," he added quietly, half-regretting even bringing this part up. Why would he ever be sharing this? Would a normal man share this with his little sister?

A woman? Alex's heart sank. What did he do… with this woman?

But of course she knew. He didn't have to tell her. She didn't want to hear it. And he told her anyway.

"She looked like… well, she looked so familiar. And I was drunk out of my mind, and completely depressed, and…"

"Depressed?" she asked, carefully. "You couldn't have been that depressed over the wizarding competition. It…" She paused, holding her breath. "It has to do with your girlfriend, doesn't it? Something's going on there."

Though it was completely inappropriate, he laughed. It was a mirthless laugh, layered with bitterness. "My girlfriend," he muttered, more to himself than to her. "Kenzie, huh?" He shook his head and glared at the wall in front of him. "I was so drunk, Alex. That woman I met looked so much like her… like the woman I'm in love with."

_There,_ she thought, _he's said it. He loves her—Kenzie, or whatever her name was. He's in love with her, and that's that._

"…the woman I can never have," he added, whispering it under his breath, lacing every word with anguish and contempt. He had to say it, though he didn't intend for Alex to hear.

But she heard it anyway.

_The woman he can't have? _She was puzzled. _Doesn't he have her already? They're together…_

She cleared her throat and regained enough composure to say, with her characteristically indifferent tone, "You slept with her, then. And you regret that. Cheating on Kenzie, you mean."

He blinked. Cheated on Kenzie…?

Oh. He _had _done just that, hadn't he?

Seizing this brilliant opportunity for a cover-up, he nodded and lied, "Yeah… Yeah, that's exactly right…"

There was another long, agonizing silence, and then Alex's hand dared to touch his shoulder, and they both flinched noticeably at the touch, an electrical surge jarring through their bodies. They froze, and then quickly, trying to regain normalcy, she put her hand back on his shoulder and rubbed his back sympathetically—that was a normal thing for a sister to do, right?

"It'll be okay, Justin," she told him quietly, her voice lifeless. "Kenzie will forgive you. And if she doesn't, then, well, clearly she's not worth your time, and is not the one for you."

"Damn it, Alex," he said suddenly, ripping away from her touch and walking to the other side of the room, "stop talking about Kenzie. I can't take it anymore." He put his fist on the wall and leaned his forehead against it, trying to regain his composure. He just wanted to forget about Kenzie, about everything, and sweep Alex into his arms and kiss her and show her what it was like to be truly loved by a man—taboos and sin be damned.

And all the while, Alex was warring internally with her own turmoil, wanting Justin to do just that, and crumbling with devastation that he never could or would. Her hand stayed up in the air where he had been, and then fell limply to her side. She wanted to be angry—scream, yell, anything to make him angry with her—but all she felt was emptiness.

"Kenzie's a lucky girl," she said boldly, hoping to elicit a violent response.

But all he did was stiffen, open his eyes wide, and slowly turn to her. "What did you say?" he asked.

She stared at him, trying to set it into a glare, and told him, "I said, 'Kenzie's a lucky girl.' Are you deaf?"

He wanted to melt into the wall behind him and evaporate into nothingness, into the cold outside and cease to exist. What was she saying? Swallowing hard, he demanded, "What the hell does that mean? Are you really that hateful that you would say she's lucky to have a boyfriend who gets drunk and sleeps with a complete stranger, because, what—she's essentially trash? That she deserves this kind of treatment? Is that what you're saying?"

A small smile tried to curl onto her face but died in the attempt. So he was angry with her now. Good. That was just what she wanted. It was easier to be angry with him if he was angry with her, and it was easier to be angry than to be mournful. But somehow, the anger within her would not grow. There was just sorrow.

She shook her head miserably. She was tired—tired of the secrets, of the lies. She just wanted him to _know, _and either accept or reject her and have it be _done _with, once and for all. The smile found its life again and she shook her head again, letting out half a laugh. "You just don't_ get_ it, do you?"

His face fell, and he felt as though his veins had frozen. Only his heartbeat, which was pounding murderously against his ribcage, let him know that he was still alive. His mouth remembered suddenly how to function, and he found the words, "_What…_ don't I get?"

She smiled bitterly and then held her head high, and shook it again slowly. "You know what? Just forget about it." And before he could stop her, she turned and left, vanishing behind the closed door and leaving him to sink against the wall, alone with his thoughts, confused more now than ever.

—

She didn't come to dinner that night, but Justin could barely eat anyway. His parents exchanged concerned glances and his mother finally asked, "Justin, what's wrong? You've been worrying us a lot lately."

He looked up from his plate and sighed. "It's nothing, Mom," he lied; it most certainly was not nothing. "I just have a lot on my mind, is all." He looked around the table and asked quickly, to change the subject, "Where's Max?"

Jerry shrugged. "He's at Tyler's again," he answered.

"Been spending a lot of time there," Justin mused.

"Tyler's a good kid. You'd like him."

"Yeah. Thanks for the meal, Mom. It was delicious." And he picked up his plate, the food barely touched, put it on the counter by the sink and fled upstairs to his room. He locked the door and changed into his pajamas, then crawled into bed hoping he could possibly fall asleep and be freed from this torment in his mind for just a few hours.

Naturally, sleep did not come, and he laid there for hours, tossing and turning, until it was nearing one and he could simply not take it anymore. Possessed by a sudden impulse, he threw back the covers and slunk out into the dark hallway, closing the door silently behind him.

—

There hadn't been much for Alex to do after she left Justin's room but retreat to her own and stay there for the rest of the night. Sleep sounded like a good idea, but it was only five thirty, so she undressed, turned off the lights, slid into her bed with her laptop, and instant messaged Christian for several hours. When nine o'clock hit, she told him goodnight and put the laptop on her nightstand, then tried to fall asleep. Luckily for her, she was out within two minutes. It was an unusually light and restless sleep, though, and when her door opened at something like one in the morning, her eyes opened.

He watched her sit up and turn to face him, sleep and confusion in her eyes.

"Justin…?"

He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. It was hard to see him in the dim lighting of the moon and street lights outside her bedroom. "Alex, I want to tell you something. It's really important."

"Look," she murmured sadly, rubbing sleep from her eyes, "I'm sorry about what I said. If I offended you."

He paced a little, then stopped. "No, it's okay. But that's not what I wanted to tell you."

She frowned and looked at him seriously. "What is it?" she asked.

"Well…" He was trembling like a leaf, he knew. How was he going to tell her this? Why did he need to tell her this at all? She was his_ little sister,_ for God's sake. Chances were very high that if he told her he loved her, she would think he meant as a brother. But if he explained that, no, he _loved _her, not as a brother loves his sister, but as a man loves a woman—she would no doubt be disgusted.

He looked at her now, loving the way her bed hair framed her perfect face, how it flowed in gentle, frizzy waves down her back and over her shoulders. Her sleepy brown eyes looked so innocent, so pure in comparison to the filth he was about to reveal to her. He couldn't disturb that purity. It wouldn't be fair.

So why did he feel it was necessary to tell Alex he was in love with her? It would cause needless heartache and potentially tear apart the family.

"Justin. Are you okay?"

"N-no," he stammered.

_She's my sister,_ he reminded himself for the umpteenth time. _This would be so wrong._

But for one instant, one second, he didn't care, and he used that moment, that opportunity, to say something.

"Alex—I love you."

She stiffened for the shortest of moments, and he didn't notice; she tried to seem unsurprised. "I love you too, Justin, but what does that have to do with anything we're talking about?"

"No, you don't understand." He ran his fingers through his hair again, heart hammering against his ribcage, in his ears… he felt sick, he was shaking so violently. "What I mean is… I…"

Her own heart was drumming, just as hard, though not so wildly. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Was he going to confess love to her? Alex hoped so, but she would never admit it. After all, the chances he would love her back, the same way she loved him, were so small. She kept her cool up. He was definitely going to say something else.

_He's my brother, _she reminded herself for the umpteenth time.

But Alex, as usual, had more confidence than her gawky older brother. Though he was not so awkward as he was in his teens, there was still a shyness and utter lack of grace and poise that he would probably never lose. Alex loved that about him. She found it extremely adorable.

"Umm, what I'm trying to say, Alex, is, um, I don't love you… well I mean not like you _think _I do—unless you think I love you the way I do because, umm, erm—I know I'm your brother so I'm supposed to love you, but…" He was rambling, he knew, but he just couldn't stop. "What I'm_ trying_ to say, uh, well, I'm, kinda, sorta, in lo—"

Always the confident one…

In an astonishingly bold move, Alex got out of her bed and pressed her lips to Justin's. She pulled back after the quick peck, and he was quiet, and a little dazed. Okay, a peck. What difference did that make?

Well, to Justin, who was blushing, it seemed to make quite a difference.

Alex took a sharp breath and kissed him again, putting her arms around his neck and pressing her mouth tighter against his. Sudden tears she didn't expect came streaming down her eyes and she started to tremble like her brother, her lips shaky against his and losing confidence.

She waited for him to push her away…

Instead, Justin's body relaxed. He carefully put his arms around her waist and slowly pulled her closer to him. He had to be careful… one wrong move and it'd all be over. He was far past the point of no return now.

Alex pulled away just the slightest bit, causing Justin to momentarily panic. However, when Alex murmured, "Don't worry, I'm in love with you, too," and kissed him again, he felt so much at ease. Never before in his life, before Alex said those words, had he been happier. He felt like he could fly.

His hands roamed her back as the kiss grew more heated. He ran them through her own hair this time, and she lowered her arms around him. Her tongue pressed against his lips, and he gladly opened them for her. Nothing could spoil this moment.

Spells, potions, magical creatures, wizards… none of that mattered. That was fairytale stuff. If anything, _this _was the true magic; the feeling of Alex in his arms, of her lips on his, the miracle that was their shared love for each other, beyond anything siblings could feel. At once, he felt confident that he would give up everything, even his powers, even his name, to be with her. This was real, honest magic. Everything else paled in comparison.


	5. Chapter Five

—

Chapter Five

—

"I know you've been stealing pills from my parents."

Max looked away from the TV and at Tyler, who was sitting in the chair on the end of the coffee table. It was something like three in the morning. "I'm sorry," he said. He was lying down on the couch in Tyler's living room and pulled himself up to a sit. "Really, man. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to _me,_" said Tyler, his voice laced with concern. "Are you okay? Why have you been popping pills? Don't you realize you could take the wrong thing and it could really mess you up?"

Max glanced at the TV and sighed. "Yeah, I know that," he admitted. "Which is why I've been taking pretty much whatever I find."

"Dude—you could kill yourself."

"I know." He looked back at his best friend, and shrugged. "Would anybody care?"

"_I_ would." Tyler looked hurt that Max was even saying such a thing. "I'd care. And so would your family—"

Max laughed cruelly. "My _family?_" he asked, smiling at his friend. "You think my _family_ would really give two fucks as to whether I live or die?"

Tyler scowled. "They don't have to give two," he retorted angrily. "One is enough. And are you kidding me? Think of your poor mother—she'd be devastated to lose her baby."

"Please—they don't even_ notice_ me anymore! It's always Justin and Alex, Justin and Alex, never Max, Max, Max. They always say, the middle child is the one that's ignored, because the baby and the firstborn get all the attention—fuck that. They get_ all_ the attention. Justin's the perfect superstar child of the family, and Alex is the screw-up who needs to be monitored twenty-four-seven. There isn't any _time_ left to spare a passing thought for poor little Maxie-poo."

"So, what, you're just going to off yourself?" Tyler snapped. "Without any consideration for anyone other than yourself, you're just going to end it and leave the rest of us to clean up your mess?" He shook his head in disgust. "That is so unbelievably selfish, Max. I'm surprised at you."

There was a long silence, and then Max asked, his voice barely a whisper, "Why do you care so much?"

Tyler sighed sadly. "Isn't it obvious?"

Max looked at him as if he were seeing him for the very first time.

—

More out of habit than anything, Justin woke in the early hours of the morning. Though awake, he kept his eyes closed. He was only vaguely aware of his nose buried in the dark, chocolate-brown hair of the girl in his arms. Her hair smelled like strawberries.

He opened his eyes slightly to look at the sleeping girl—no, not girl; she was definitely a young woman—he adored. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep. He gently moved a stray strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear with his free arm and smiled.

And then his face fell when he realized what had happened.

Panic seized his chest. Collecting himself enough to pull his arm from under Alex without waking her, he scrambled out of the bed and hurried to put his clothes back on. If he could just slip back into his bedroom, and wake up there, nobody would ever know. He looked at the clock; it read 5:26 AM. So early… only he, of course, would be up at this hour.

He did a double-take on his way out. His fingers brushed the doorknob, but his eyes rested on his sleeping sister. What would happen if one of their parents came in and saw her sleeping naked? It was the dead of winter—_nobody_ slept alone naked in New York in the winter.

Luckily, he was able to dress Alex without waking her up. _She's such a deep sleeper,_ he thought, rather enviously. Though, he had to say, it was very fortunate that he woke easily, and that he'd long established a habit of waking up around five thirty. What would have happened if their parents or Max came in to wake up Alex, and found—?

He repressed a shiver and double checked to make sure any evidence of his ever being there was gone before he carefully opened the door, slipped outside, and closed it without a sound. He tiptoed to his own bedroom and eased inside.

As he closed the door and silently fell against it in relief, he began to wonder if what he'd done would tear at his conscience. Would he feel so guilty about sleeping with his sister, about violating one of the ultimate taboos—he could barely bring himself to even think the word 'incest'; it felt so sickeningly dirty—that he would spill it all to somebody? Nobody could ever know about this. But did he trust himself to keep his mouth shut? And what about Alex? How would she feel about it? Yeah, okay, she wasn't really one for feeling guilty, but she surprised him sometimes. He hoped with every fiber of his being that she wouldn't surprise him this time. Neither of them could ever tell anybody.

He occupied himself for the next few hours (he was unable to go back to sleep) on his laptop with college stuff, writing and rewriting papers, cleaning up his notes…

—

Alex woke up around eleven to an empty bed. She was fully dressed in her sleepwear and wondered briefly if she'd dreamed the whole thing. Sadness overwhelmed her. Oh, no. It was just a dream, wasn't it?

But she wouldn't be convinced so easily. It _had_ to have been real… She thought over the events of the night before in her head, and sighed happily. If it was a dream, it'd been a damn good one. But when she fell back onto her pillow and took a deep breath, she caught a whiff of something familiar. She smelled the area next to her again. And again.

_Axe._

Feeling lightheaded and somewhat giddy, she giggled and hopped out of her bed. _It_ wasn't_ a dream, was it?_ she thought triumphantly, twirling and laughing out loud. She moved quickly out of her room, about to head for Justin's, when she thought first to check where her parents and Max were. She poked her head downstairs and found Max heading out the door.

"Hey, Max," she called from the stairs. He turned. "Where's Mom and Dad?"

"Dad's downstairs in the shop and Mom's out doing last minute Christmas shopping," he answered boredly.

_Oh, that's right—Christmas is tomorrow. I totally forgot._ She noticed the brightly lit Christmas tree in the center of the room. How long had that been there? "Do you know when they'll be back?"

He shrugged. "Mom'll be gone all day, and you know Dad'll be downstairs all day too."

"Where are _you_ going?" she asked.

He scowled. "Jesus, what is this, an interrogation?"

"I'm just curious."

"I'm heading back to Tyler's house," he answered slowly, an odd look on his face. "I was there all night. I just dropped by to change."

"Ah," she said, not really caring. "Have fun."

He half-waved and left. Smiling, and practically ecstatic, Alex ran up the stairs and had to force herself to refrain from bursting into Justin's room, instead opting to slowly saunter in like it was no big deal. She didn't bother knocking; she just walked in and found him pounding away at the keys on his laptop. She closed the door and waited. He didn't notice her. She cleared her throat. Nothing.

"Justin!"

He jumped and fell out of his chair. She giggled.

"Oh, Alex, sorry, I… I didn't hear you knock."

"I didn't knock."

He scrambled to get back in his chair, and swiveled it around to face her. She sat down on the floor and smiled up at him.

"So, what's up?" he asked casually.

"Mom and Dad aren't home. Neither is Max."

"Oh."

As an afterthought, she added, "They'll be gone all day."

He looked away. "I see."

"Yep, just you and me... aloooone..."

He didn't reply to that, but his face burned. After a long pause, Alex spoke again.

"Hey, what happened last night?" she asked carefully, in case she'd imagined the Axe and it really was just a dream.

By the way Justin hesitated and rubbed the back of his neck, her confidence in last night being a reality grew. "Umm… well, uh, you and I, erm…" He was so cute when he was nervous. "We, uh, had…"

"Sex," she finished. The flame that erupted in his cheeks proved her to be correct.

His face crumbled and to her horror, he broke down into tears. "I'm so sorry," he whispered fiercely. "Oh, _God,_ Alex, I am so, so _sorry_."

She scowled. "Sorry? Why the hell would you be sorry?"

"_Because,_ Alex! We had _sex,_ and you're my little sister!"

"So?"

_"SO?"_ He stood, shaking like a leaf, the frightened tears streaming down his face. "Don't you understand, Alex, that we violated one of the most serious taboos in _existence? _Our family will _never _speak to us again!"

She rolled her head to the side, looking at him curiously, and shrugged. "That wouldn't be so bad," she said quietly.

He groaned. "Look, Alex—"

"No, _you_ look, okay?" She stood up sharply, her eyes suddenly intense. "I love you, Justin. I have for a really, really long time. Now that I've got you, I'm not letting you go, you got it? I don't give a damn about 'taboos' or being shunned from society. I've wanted you for a_ really_ fucking long time, and now that I have you, damn it, I'm going to fucking _keep_ you. You get what I'm saying?"

He looked at her with a mixed expression on his face. How could she stand there and be so comfortable with the possibility of their entire world falling apart? She loved people. If she was denied them because of him, she wouldn't like it at all. _He_ had no problem having little friends, but Alex couldn't live without them.

"You know what your problem is?" she asked. "You think _way_ too much. You need to relax a little bit and go with the flow. Be more like me. You live fourteen minutes ahead of the rest of us. Live in the now, with me. Everything will work out, I promise." Her voice softened, and she took a step closer to him. He forced himself not to take a step back. "Besides… you're a wizard, and pretty much a genius. You'll find a way to fix anything that goes wrong."

Despite her words, he was still doubtful, but when she closed the distance between them and planted a long, sensuous kiss on his lips, all his inhibitions and fears were suddenly somewhere far in his mind where he couldn't find them. His voice was almost feral as he growled, "Damn it all," and scooped her over his shoulder. She shrieked with laughter as he ran and leaped onto his bed and they lost themselves in each other again.

—

It had never occurred to Max before that he might really enjoy kissing another guy. Or maybe it was just Tyler. He liked how the calluses on Tyler's fingers from years of playing the guitar felt on his skin and he liked the way his lips tingled against Tyler's. It didn't have to make him gay, and even if it did, was that really so awful? He'd never had a girlfriend—he'd never really thought about dating girls. Was that so weird for a seventeen-year-old boy to have never thought about girls?

Whatever the case, Tyler's kisses were nice. And it had been surprisingly comfortable to lie like he had that morning on the couch half-asleep with Tyler sleeping in his arms, his head on his chest, the both of them under the blanket. Sadly when he woke several hours later, Tyler was gone, and there was a note on the table telling Max that he and his parents had taken his little brother to take pictures at the mall with Santa, and they'd be back soon. Max decided to head back home to change his clothes, and he got back before Tyler's family had returned. He spent the time waiting by cleaning out the refrigerator for food and watching more TV.

At some point the started to wonder about what Alex and Justin were up to back home. He figured Alex had probably gone to her boyfriend's house, or Harper's, and Justin was probably doing homework or something else equally lame.

"It's a Wonderful Life" came on, and he switched his thoughts to Tyler, who was more interesting anyway.

—

Justin collapsed on top of Alex and rolled over to the side, both of them breathing heavily. He pulled her into his arms and breathed in her scent.

"We can't—keep doing this," he panted, hating himself as the words left his mouth.

She looked over at him and rolled her eyes. "You're—an asshole," she told him between gulps of air. "You want—to take—_this_—away from me?"

He laughed breathlessly, and smirked at her. "I'm_ that _good, huh?"

_"No,"_ she snapped, elbowing him in the ribs. "Don't go and get a big head. It's big enough already."

He smiled wickedly. "That's what she said."

She smacked his arm indignantly, and he laughed.

"Still, though," he said, serious again, "we can't keep this up."

"Justin, you are the _only_ guy in the whole world who could ever _possibly_ want to give up sex with someone he's been wanting to get with for years."

"I didn't say I _wanted_ to."

She shrugged. "Yeah, well, you tend to equate the_ shoulds_ with _woulds_. You think we _should_ stop having sex and being happy together, because we're brother and sister, and so you, being you, _would _stop."

"Well…"

"But I could say the same thing," she went on. "I could say, we _should_ continue to do whatever we want because we're in love, and so, me being me, I would."

He frowned, confused. "Didn't you just contradict yourself?" he pointed out.

"No, because you agree with me. And we will continue to pursue this relationship and live happily ever after till you're too old to remember who I am and I put you in a home and then live out the rest of my days being fanned by hot Latino boys by my pool in Tahiti."

He rolled his eyes. "Why do I feel like that's not quite so fun on my half? Why can't we both live in Tahiti?"

"Because you're going to die first," she said, as if that were obvious. "And I gotta have_ something_ to do after you leave me."

"Gee, thanks. Glad to know I've got a happy future coming for me."

She smiled at him. "You do. 'Cause you've got me." And she kissed him on the nose.

He couldn't help but smile back. "I love you," he told her. "So much."

"I know." She winked. "And I love you too."


	6. Chapter Six

A/N: WOW, it's been a long time since I last touched this story. I updated last in June of 2010. That's like… almost two years ago XD (I is are good at maffs). CRAZY! I think I got a little bored, cuz I'm super sick of angst. But then I gotta be honest… who could ever be sick of angst? Haha!

I do apologize, though, for the extended hiatus. Life gets in the way sometimes and I'm terrible at finishing things. But, I plan to finish my stories one way or another, if it kills me! (Which I seriously hope it doesn't.)

If you're wondering where Max is this chapter, fret not. There is plenty more of him to come. Soon, my birdies, soon! I should have another update in… oh, within the week, probably. Do enjoy!

—

Chapter Six

—

Christmas was made all the more magical with the knowledge that she had Justin's heart—the best present he could have ever given her. It had startled the both of them when he received a call from Kenzie, who apparently missed him terribly. Alex burned with jealousy, but she said nothing. The reality of Kenzie was not one she wanted to acknowledge.

"You're going to break up with her, right?" she asked him that night while they were making love.

"Who?" he asked, grunting.

"Kenzie. Your _girlfriend_."

"Ugh, Alex, not now—"

In silent rebellion, Alex lay there motionless until he had finished. When he had, he looked at her in confusion and disappointment.

"Why'd you do that?" he asked. "That wasn't any fun at all."

"Neither is listening to you tell Kenzie how much you love her," she retorted.

He sighed and rolled off of her, wrapping his arms around her bare waist and pulling her close. "Alex, you can't expect me to just dump her on Christmas."

"I don't, but I don't want to hear you get all mushy either."

"I wasn't mushy."

"No? Please." In a mocking tone, she said, "'I know, baby, I miss you too.' 'I wish I could spend Christmas with you, too.' 'No, _you're_ more adorable.'"

Justin's cheeks colored. He pressed an apologetic kiss under her eye. "I'm sorry, Alex. Habit, I guess." When she didn't say anything, he frowned. "Alex, you need to realize, we can't just do really drastic things. We have to play it up like nothing's going on. Were you planning on breaking up with your boyfriend just because you and I got together?"

Alex scowled. She didn't like feeling stupid, but she didn't see what the big deal was. Why did it have to be such a big secret anyway? Who had the right to tell her she couldn't be with her own damn brother?

"You understand, don't you?"

"Of course I understand," Alex snapped. "You're making a big deal out of nothing. It doesn't _have_ to be that complicated, you know. And who's the better liar here anyway?"

Justin pushed himself up on his arms to look her in the face. "What are you saying?" he asked carefully, unsure if he really wanted to know.

Her eyes made contact with his for a moment, and then flitted back away. When she didn't say anything, Justin pushed a strand of hair out of her face and kissed her softly on the lips. His green eyes were imploring. "Alex… what are you thinking?" he murmured, trying to keep his mind from wandering back to more heated pursuits.

"The best lie is casual," she said, so quietly it was almost a whisper. "One that you can joke about because the trust is there, though I'm sure we probably won't be making any incest jokes."

Justin snorted, but he was all ears.

"If you act like you have something to hide, you'll draw immediate suspicion. But play along like you've done nothing wrong, there's nothing you're hiding, and suddenly you're getting away with murder. Or whatever it is you're doing."

It was almost unnerving to hear Alex explain this. He became a little uncomfortable, but intrigued nevertheless. A little embarrassed, he said, "You know I'm… not the greatest at lying."

"Oh, I know. That's why you should let me do all the talking. I'll tell the parents I want to go back with you to California to get away, get my shit together, that sort of thing."

Justin's eyes widened. "Wait, you—come with me to—?"

"Don't interrupt me," she said, locking her eyes on his. "Listen. This is important."

He closed his mouth.

"I'll say I've decided it's time for a fresh start and that I want to leave New York," she went on. "Say that at least if I'm with you, I'll be safe. I'm going to get a job, work hard, and stay out of trouble—enjoy the warm and the sunshine. If I need any more convincing I'll figure it out, but that should do it. Then I'll break up with Christian, we'll go to California, and I'll give you only two months max before you have to break up with Kenzie. That's enough time to avoid suspicion, and I'll do my best to just get over it. Then we'll live alone together until you're done with school. We can figure out later what to do after that."

Justin blinked, awed. "That's… genius, Alex. Evil genius."

She smirked. "Well, you know me."

"You… just came up with that on the spot?"

She nodded. "Mhm. Pretty much. It wasn't hard."

He smiled broadly, and she thought fondly that he looked like a happy little boy. "This is why I love you, Alex," he told her. "You're amazing."

"I know," she replied, wrapping her arms around him.

He was suddenly overwhelmed with joy, and buried his face in her shoulder. He hugged her tightly. "I'm so happy. I've never been so happy. I love you so much."

She smiled. "Me, either. I love you too."

He began to kiss her shoulder, and then her neck, and a little gasp escaped her mouth. Encouraged, he moved his mouth to her collarbone, and with his hands he gently caressed the side of her breasts. She shuddered, and pushed at him. He gladly let her flip him over and she straddled him, sitting upright and exposing herself fully. She smiled wickedly as she bent over him and drew her tongue up his neck to his ear. The quietest of moans broke from his throat, which heightened her excitement—getting him to make noise, even a little, was a challenge she accepted warmly.

Suddenly, she stopped, and looked him seriously in the eye. "So you _are_ breaking up with Kenzie?"

"Oh, my god, Alex—yes."

"Good."

Satisfied, she continued her torment of the beautiful man beneath her.

—

The rest of the week went on pleasantly, with the pair more or less avoiding each other during the day and then coming together at night. Their parents were a bit puzzled but pleased that their eldest children weren't spending the remainder of Christmas vacation at each other's throats.

On the thirtieth, while Max was at Tyler's, Alex and Justin decided it was time to present their proposal to their parents. They were in the middle of dinner when Justin said, "Mom, Dad? Could we talk to you about something?"

Jerry and Theresa exchanged glances, wondering what in the world this could be about. "Of course," said Theresa. "What is it?"

"Alex and I have a proposal for you."

"Uh-huh…?"

Justin looked to Alex to continue the conversation, but she put a forkful of food in her mouth and shrugged at him. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and continued, "We were thinking she could come back with me to California after break is over."

Their mother's eyebrows shot up, and Jerry frowned in utter perplexity.

"Why in the world would you want to do _that_?" he asked.

"I need to get out of New York, Daddy," Alex answered. "Clearly, I mean, community college didn't work out, and I'm not a wizard anymore, so… I'd really like a fresh start somewhere. And this way, I'd be with Justin, so I'd be somewhere safe, and I could get a job and some sunshine and, you know, get my act together."

Justin nodded. "Plus," he added, "she'll be out of your hair."

To her father, Alex said, "You said I needed to learn responsibility, so… I'd like to learn."

There was a brief period of silence as Mr. and Mrs. Russo looked at each other, both of them contemplating the situation with each other wordlessly. Finally, Theresa said, "I don't know if you two will be able to stand each other, but, I'm okay with that." Jerry nodded and gave his own assent.

"Excellent," said Justin, smiling. "You'd best pack your stuff, sis."

"Is it shorts weather in California right now?" asked Alex musingly, tapping her mouth with her fork.

Justin laughed.

—

It hurt something deep inside of Alex to see the pain in Christian's eyes when she told him.

"See, I'm going to California with my brother, and…"

"I understand. You don't want to do the long-distance."

She shrugged half-heartedly. "That, and… I'm going to sort of get a… fresh start, really. I need to pull myself together."

He nodded slowly. "And I'm part of that mess you need to clean up."

"No," she said, surprised. "No, no, no, never, Christian! Don't ever think that. This isn't about you, it's—"

"I know, I know."

She lowered her head and looked up at him shyly through her lashes. "You're not mad, then?"

He laughed bitterly. "Mad? When the love of my life is suddenly leaving me? Yeah, I'm a little mad. But mostly I'm just… I don't want this at all." He paused, crossed his arms over his chest, and then asked carefully, "Are you sure we can't try it? The long-distance? You'll be back before you know it…"

But she was shaking her head. "No… I'm sure, we can't."

"Could you just tell me one thing?"

"Of course."

"What are you going to do about that guy?"

She blinked. "What…guy?"

"The guy you're in love with."

Her face paled, and then began to flush with color. "Who do you mean?" she asked innocently.

"Damn it, Alex, don't even try. I know you've been using me as comfort. I know you love someone else, and I'm just your attempt to move on or forget about him."

"Christian, I—I love _you._"

He gazed at her, his eyes hard, and then he sighed. "Well I suppose I wouldn't tell you either, if it were me."

"I'm serious…"

"I just thought maybe you cared enough, had the decency enough, maybe, to tell me…"

She put her hands to her head. "Stop, please. That's not fair."

"Well sorry, but my girlfriend just dumped me, so I don't really feel like being fair."

"Christian—"

"He's a lucky guy."

She stopped and lowered her hands. "What do you mean?" she asked quietly.

"That _guy._ He's lucky. God knows what I would've given to receive all your love."

She was silent. What else was there to say?

"I love you, Alex," he murmured. "Goodbye."

—

As the couple stepped through security, Justin had a brief moment of paranoia that the scanners would somehow detect his filth. It was the first time since he and Alex had begun their affair that the guilt had returned. He was terrified someone would find out, and his relief at passing through security without any trouble was not enough to calm his churning stomach.

How would he relate this to Kenzie? Would Alex be his sister publicly? Well, she'd have to, wouldn't she? Kenzie would be suspicious of this girl coming home from New York and living with her boyfriend. No one he knew in California had ever seen Alex's photo as far as he knew.

And, speaking of photos, then there was the problem of Facebook! What if someone tagged her in a photo on Facebook? Alex couldn't change her Facebook name, or the people back home would know. Did Alex even have a Facebook? Justin had one that he never used. Gaaah, confound modern technology and its lack of any privacy!

They'd just have to be brother and sister then, right? Of course they couldn't be openly together in public. Right? Even if no one knew? What if Alex changed her name? Could she do that? Would she? What would he call her? What if he accidentally called her Alex in front of someone?

While Justin was becoming overwhelmed with anxiety, Alex was calm, cool, and excited. He burned with envy. How could she be so easy about all of this? How could she make living a lie look so natural?

"Justin."

"What?" he demanded loudly, ripped from his trance. When had he gotten on the plane? When had they taken off?

His sister's chocolate eyes were filled with concern. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Ahh—yeah," he lied poorly. "I'm doing great, why do you ask?"

"You seem really freaked out."

He lowered his voice and admitted, "I _am_… I don't know how this is going to work out." He felt so stupid and embarrassed.

She laughed. "Stop _worrying._ The flight's too long for you to have a panic attack." She put a hand on his arm. "It'll work out, seriously. Do you keep forgetting? I'm great at what I do, and _you_—I shouldn't even be needed."

He frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

Alex rolled her eyes and whispered in his ear, "Because you're a fucking _wizard,_ Justin."

The truth of this took a moment or two to sink in, but when it did, Justin began to laugh, almost a little hysterically, at his own relief and stupidity. "Wow… I completely forgot, didn't I? In all the, uh… you know."

"Yes," she said with another laugh. "Yes, I know. Now stop laughing like that or people will think you're a crazy person. Try to relax. We're going to California!"

"Yeah, we are." He smiled, and found himself actually relaxing. As they flew further west, Justin's eyes rested on his beautiful sister, the love of his life, and he dared to lace his fingers with hers. She barely noticed. She'd fallen asleep.

_It'll be okay,_ he told himself, and he believed it. _Everything will be a-okay. I know it._


	7. Chapter Seven

A/N: Lol… I have no excuse. (By the way, don't forget about time zones :P I almost kinda did. Haha!)

—

Chapter Seven

—

The house was quiet.

After several weeks of trying to avoid and ignore all the noise in the house, Max was left with no noise at all. He found it… infuriating. Still, he had hope. With Justin the Boy Wonder and Alex the Terrible out of the house, Max would finally get the attention he deserved from his parents.

There were still a couple days left before school started back up. His parents were working downstairs. He thought about helping them, but that sounded exhausting. He sat on the couch and pulled out his phone, dialing the only number he ever called.

"Hey, babe. What's up?"

Max didn't reply at first. Instead he brought a trembling hand to his face, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion.

"Max? You there?"

He took a shaky breath. "Yeah… I'm here."

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I… dunno. I just don't… feel… okay."

"Do you want me to come over? I can leave right now—"

"No," Max blurted, a little more harshly than he intended. "Sorry, um, no… that's not needed." But it was needed. More than anything, he wanted Tyler to hold him and make him feel wanted. "I mean, my parents are downstairs, and…"

"I understand."

Max sighed. He didn't want Tyler to understand. His mother was Catholic, for God's sake. She would die if she knew her son was romantically involved with another boy. It was a terrible thing for Tyler to have to understand. Max certainly couldn't. Whatever was so wrong about their being together, he simply couldn't see it.

"You've had a boyfriend before, haven't you?" he asked quietly.

"A few," Tyler responded. "None very serious, though. I've made out with more guys than I've dated."

Max hesitated, and then, bluntly, he asked, "What's the sex like? I mean—how exactly does it work?"

To his mortification, Tyler laughed, albeit a little uncomfortably. "Um, doesn't this seem like more of an in-person kind of conversation?"

"I'm new to this," Max admitted. "The whole liking guys thing. I mean, I don't even know, man. I don't even know if I _do _like guys… maybe it's just you."

"Well, have you ever been with a girl?"

"Not really, no… I never really thought much of 'em, honestly."

There was a pause. "You don't have to know right this second what label you want to pin to yourself, you know. Being with me doesn't have to _mean_ much of anything in the way of what gender you're into. You just happen to like me, and I just happen to be a guy."

Max nodded slowly. "I guess that makes sense."

He can hear Tyler's smile in his tone. "Do you feel better?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Well, that's okay. Will I see you today?"

Max hesitated, and then replied, "Not today, no. I think I'm going to help out my parents in the shop."

"Cool. Tomorrow, maybe."

"Bye, Tyler."

"Bye, babe."

Max hung up, and stared at his phone for a few moments. Why didn't he just go see Tyler? What was this he was feeling today? He just felt devoid of energy, and like he could sink into the couch and disappear and no one would notice.

He thought about taking some more painkillers, but decided it was too much effort. It wasn't like they really did anything, anyway.

—

California was still warm, even in the winter—at least by Alex's standards. Justin's apartment was small, but two-bedroom. Alex dumped her one suitcase, magically packed by Justin, on the floor and collapsed on his couch. "Let's go to the beach!" she exclaimed delightedly.

He laughed. "It's not _that_ warm."

"The hell it isn't! Do you _know_ what the temperature is in New York right now?"

"Yes, I was just there."

She flicked her hand at him and wandered over to the window. The sky was a brilliant blue, and more or less stayed that color for the next three months.

Alex got a job as a waitress, and Justin dove back into his schoolwork. It seemed to them both like a perfect situation. The first few days were absolute bliss, and the weeks that followed were almost just as perfect. Of course, Alex's jealousy could not be bated once Kenzie became a reality.

"Oh, you must be Alex—it's so great to finally meet you!"

She tried not to bite off Kenzie's face as she faked a smile and hugged her back.

"Justin," said Alex sharply, "I'm going out."

"Really?" he asked, shocked. "You can stay if you want. We don't mind."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his idiocy. "Nope. Goodbye. Nice to meet you, Kenzie." And she left.

Her mood was sour and her attitude horrible. She tried to focus at work, but it was difficult. Her boss was getting peeved.

She had to blow off some steam. It was March now, and Justin still hadn't broken up with Kenzie. In fact, he seemed more in love with her than ever. Kenzie was over more often than Alex liked—though she wouldn't have liked her there at all—and Alex had to leave every time. She spent a good deal of time wandering the streets. Justin tried to insist to her some bullshit about keeping up appearances, but Alex was losing her patience.

"Why can't you do it?" she demanded one day. "Why? I broke up with Christian, and that was not easy, but I did it for _you._ And you're fucking Kenzie and me like you can have us both!"

"I haven't slept with her since we got back," he told her.

"Oh, PLEASE. You think I can't smell the sex when I get home? Fuck you, Justin."

She spent a lot of time at the beach, wandering around and mingling with random people. There was a surfer there named Brendan who had taken an interest in her. As spring approached and Justin still showed no sign of dumping Kenzie, Alex's jealousy and anger finally got the better of her.

It had taken no effort in the slightest on her part.

She brought him to her place. Justin was on his way home. She timed it perfectly.

—

_Hey, Mom and Dad. It's me, Max. Your son. Remember me?_

It was six thirty. He poked at his dinner silently, only half-listening to what his parents were discussing. It was as if he weren't even there.

"Yeah, I think that's a really good idea," Jerry agreed. "The bills for this place _are_ getting a little ridiculous for just three of us."

"I can get another job, too," Theresa added. "We'll be in a smaller place and have less to pay for; you can keep the sandwich shop and we'll rent out this place, and we can make a lot of extra revenue for when we retire."

Jerry smiled. "You're brilliant, honey."

Max got up abruptly and loudly dumped his plate in the sink. He'd barely eaten.

"Max," chided Theresa. "Be careful with our plates, please."

"Sorry, Mom."

He left his parents to talk about downsizing and whatever, and headed upstairs. It had been three months since Justin and Alex had left, and he still had received no doting, no extra attention. He felt invisible, unwanted. His depression had only worsened since Christmas. He felt like he only got any attention when he acted out. His slipping grades were sure to get his parents to look at him eventually.

Tyler had noticed, too, Max's slide downward. He couldn't imagine it was just about his parents supposedly ignoring him. "You're older now, Max. How much attention do you really need?"

"Enough to feel alive."

"That's stupid. You know I love you."

"Mm."

Even Tyler, it seemed, wasn't enough anymore to keep him from feeling like this. He couldn't get over the loneliness, the sadness, the emptiness he felt in his very soul. He went into his room and opened the drawer by his bed. He wondered if he could cry, but his eyes were dry as always.

He felt nothing.

—

As Justin approached, he saw the door to his apartment close, and some blond, muscular guy was obviously leaving. He paid no mind to Justin, who was seized with sudden panic. He flung open the door to his apartment and found Alex sitting on the couch with a magazine.

"Alex, who the fuck was that?"

"Hm?" She didn't look at him. "Oh, that? No one you need to worry about. He's just a friend."

"Just a friend, huh?"

He stormed past her, and a smirk curled on her face as he flung open the door to her bedroom.

"Wrong room, darling," she called out.

His blood ran cold. He rushed to his own room—the room he and Alex generally shared when Kenzie wasn't over—and saw the bed shamelessly in disarray. And with the hot, musty smell… he knew.

"ALEX. What the fuck?" His entire chest was in pain. "Why did you do that?"

"WHY haven't you broken up with KENZIE?" she shrieked. "I am SICK of this BULLSHIT, Justin! It kills me to see you with her and you don't even care!"

Justin's phone began to ring, and Alex threw up her hands.

"That's probably her now, too," she scoffed. "You know what, Justin? Answer it. Go ahead and fucking answer it."

He glanced at it, his hands shaking. It wasn't Kenzie.

"It's Dad," he said, surprised. Jerry never called.

This caught even Alex's interest, but her hurt was still difficult to suppress. Hot, angry tears leaked from her eyes.

Justin answered, desperate for a distraction from what had just happened. "Hello?"

There was a long pause where he said nothing. Alex sneered to herself. She didn't even care about Justin and Kenzie. They were fucking stupid, anyway.

"Oh my god… is he okay?"

Alex frowned, and turned to look at him. "What's happening?" she asked.

"Well… I mean, we can't really just come to New York, Dad."

This fully grabbed Alex's attention. "Wait—did something happen to Max?"

"Yeah, I _know _I'm a wizard, but…" Justin rubbed his forehead. "Um, okay. Keep us up to date, okay? Um… I'll see what I can do." He hung up.

"What _happened_?" Alex demanded again. "Your face is completely white."

Justin leaned back against the wall for support. "Max apparently took a bunch of painkillers or something," he said. "They were having dinner and when they went upstairs they found him lying on the floor. He's in the hospital and still hasn't woken up."


	8. Chapter Eight

A/N: Sorry about the length of this chapter. I'm really running out of ideas with this one and getting bored.

—

Chapter Eight

—

"Justin, poof us there. We have to be there."

"I—I—" He stumbled over himself, too stunned to do anything. Suddenly he burned a deep crimson. "Ugh, shit!"

Alex shook her head and stood. "What is wrong with you?" she demanded. "Why are we still here? Max is in the hospital. Our parents need us."

But Justin was shaking his head furiously. "No. No—not like this. We can't do it like this."

"Can't do _what?_ What is your problem?"

He slumped against the floor and broke down all at once into tears, startling Alex.

"I'm so sorry, Alex… for hurting you." He put his hand over his face. "This whole thing with Kenzie, it… it's complicated. You don't know the whole story."

"For God's sake, Justin, we can talk about this later… _Max,_ remember Max—?"

He shook his head again. "We can't go there. I wish I could tell you, but I can't."

Alex seethed with frustration. Why hadn't _she_ won the competition? If she had become a full wizard, things would be so different—and what was keeping Justin from warping them over to New York?

There was a knock on the door. Justin was barely noticing anything now, and was inconsolable on the floor. Alex's skin rippled with goosebumps. What the hell was going on? There was another, more insistent knock, and she moved to see who it was.

It was Kenzie.

_Had Justin invited her over _again_? _she wondered, sneering.

"Oh! Alex," said Kenzie, surprised. "How are you?"

Alex sighed. "Can you talk some sense into my brother?" she asked reluctantly. "He needs to poof us back to New York to see Max, but he won't. Max is in the hospital."

Kenzie gasped. "What?" She came into the apartment and stood over her boyfriend. "Justin, what is wrong with you?" she asked sharply. "What's this about? Must I take you there myself?"

The look in Justin's eyes unnerved Alex to the bone—faraway, soulless, unseeing. She tried to focus on Max, but she couldn't figure out what was wrong here. Would she lose both her brothers in one day? She shook her head; she wouldn't accept that.

"Kenzie, please," she said desperately, loathing herself for needing this woman's help. "At least send me there. I don't know what's wrong with him, but—we need to be there for Max."

Kenzie nodded. "Don't worry; I'll have him over there before you know it. Thank goodness I came just in time!"

_Yeah, thank goodness,_ thought Alex, only half-sarcastically. She kept her eyes locked on Justin as Kenzie pulled out her wand, but before she knew it he had faded away.

—

It wasn't until it was too late, and she was gasping for air in the middle of the ocean, before Alex realized what had happened.

She searched desperately for something to hold on to—a bit of driftwood, some garbage, anything—but there was only ocean.

_Oh my god, _she thought. _Kenzie knows._

_She knows, and now I'm going to die._

—

Jerry stared at the phone, then at Theresa. "He hung up on me," he told her incredulously. "And they're not coming."

"What do you mean they're not coming?" his wife demanded.

A nurse approached them. "Mr. and Mrs. Russo? Your son's awake."

"Oh, thank God!" Theresa cried, hurrying to see her boy.

—

Max had refused to explain himself to his parents, but he knew he couldn't lie to Tyler. He came the next morning during visiting hours and caught Max watching TV.

"You're incredibly selfish."

Max glanced at him, then back at the TV. "Nice to see you, too."

Tyler grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. Max rolled his eyes.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" asked Tyler. "Taking an entire bottle like that… You're lucky you didn't die. Were you_ trying_ to kill yourself?"

"No," Max admitted, exasperated. "No, I didn't. Though, in hindsight, I gotta say, I wish it had."

He looked into Tyler's eyes, expecting anger, but was rattled by what he saw instead—mourning.

"You know, Max," said the boy, taking a step away from the bed, "I love you. I want to be with you. But there's only so much I can handle, and this…? I don't even…" He shrugged. "I don't even know what this is. You never used to be like this."

"Well, and so what? What do you want me to do about it? This is who I am now. I don't have to explain myself to you. Maybe I'll do it again as soon as I get out, only actually try this time. Maybe two bottles, or three. I was so close to freedom, and I failed. Well, not again."

Tyler's eyes were hard. "If that's the way it is," he said, his voice steady and cold, "then I guess now is the time for me to say goodbye."

Max gasped. "Wait—you're breaking up with me? When I'm at my worst like this? How—how could you? This will make me want to do it even more! Because—because you clearly don't love me!"

"I do love you!" Tyler cried. "That's why I'm doing this; because I love you so much, and you are going to throw that back in my face, and the faces of everyone else who loves you, by taking your own life. I love you too much to bear the pain of watching you die or hearing you say this. If you die, I'll pay my respects, but… I think you're being ridiculous, rash, and incredibly selfish. Maybe you should rethink what's important to you before you make any more hasty decisions."

He turned around to leave. Max shook his head. "Tyler, come back. Tyler—please—Tyler! Tyler!" But he was gone. Max felt a hole blossom within him, and it hurt so badly he thought the pain alone would kill him.


End file.
